Warts: Conventional and Unconventional Approaches

How you get them: Warts (Verruca pedis in medical parlance) are actually caused by a virus spread by contact. They are often transmitted in locker room showers. Like unwelcome guests, they sometimes leave on their own, and they sometimes stay with you for years.

How you get rid of them: Since it's a virus causing the problem, the goal is to get your body to recognize the virus and respond with its immune system. So how do we get your body's attention?

1. Acid. Salicylic acid is the most common ingredient in over-the-counter wart removal treatments, and your doctor can prescribe it in higher concentrations, if needed. If you follow this approach, be prepared to spend the next few weeks applying acid, then rubbing off the dead skin with an emery board, and repeating the next day.
   
2. Freezing. Also known as cryotherapy. While over-the-counter remedies exist, consult a podiatrist for best results. By making the area around the wart extremely cold, the blood vessels freeze and shatter, allowing for a large increase in blood flow. This will result in a blood blister. Freezing may require multiple treatments, and it is not advised if you have diabetes.
   
3. Electrosurgery. Zap the wart with an electric spark and burn the area. Instant results.
   
4. Needling. Many small punctures are made in the area to form a blood blister.
   
5. Vitamin A. The research is still undecided on this, though there is evidence to show the importance of Vitamin A in skin health.
   
6. Duct Tape. Yes, ordinary duct tape. Though not without its controversy, there is evidence that duct tape is an effective treatment. Just cover the wart with duct tape for a week and then rub with an emery board. Repeat until the wart goes away, probably after two months. While it is not well understood how duct tape does this, the results are not in dispute. In other words, we know it works, we just don't know why.
   
7. Laser Surgery. Coming in at the other extreme of the technological spectrum, laser wart removal has proven effective when all other treatment options failed. While painful, it gets results and leaves no scars.
   
8. Mind over Matter? Legends tell of a plucky podiatric resident who instructed patients to sit in his "wart room." He turned off the lights, closed the door, and left them alone for a little while before concluding the office visit. Somehow, the warts went away. This leaves you, the reader, the perfect chance to write your own punchline in the comment section below.
   

For further reading, see www.warts.org.